Their Lipgloss is Poppin'
by kaattiiee
Summary: Alice has a vision and tips Bella off. Bella arrives and finds Edward and Emmett in a compromising situation, while Jasper watches, disturbed. ; Probably not what you think! One-shot, read & review! *READ NOTE AT THE TOP*


**Disclaimer + A/N**: Well hey, guys! Yeah, this is completely, 100% OOC and _believe me_, putting the characters IN character was _certainly_ not my goal here. LOL. However, it was fun as hell to write, so I can't even care too much. Also… I don't own any of these vampires, yadda, yadda. Oh. Also, I don't own any music by Lil Mama. Haaa.

Another thing, I really love Twilight a lot. But it's the fans that take it waaaay too seriously and can't make light of it that I do NOT understand! I realize that they'd be able to hear/smell her coming, wouldn't do this, etc, etc. This is just for fun, bear this in mind! This is inspired by the horrible lipstick/gloss they put on R-Pattz for the movies, lol. Ohhhh lawd. Oh, if you haven't seen the video for "Lipgloss" by Lil Mama, watch it and just try to imagine the Twilight vampires dancing to it. Endless lols, haha.

My inner voice: Kate, nobody but YOU thinks that kinda thing is funny.

D'aww. : ( Well, _I _got a laugh.

**Summary**: Alice tips Bella off, and Bella walks in on Edward and Emmett in an… interesting predicament.

--

Bella put her phone down and furrowed her eyebrows. Alice had just called and said only, "You need to come over, Bella; you won't want to miss what's about to happen!" Her sing-songy voice sounded distinctively mischievous, and Bella was curious. It didn't sound like anything was wrong; if something were wrong, Alice would just say so. She got up from the couch and fumbled for her car keys, stuffing them in her oversized jacket pocket before heading out into the chilly November air.

-

"Come on, come on!" Alice gently grabbed Bella by the hand practically before she was all the way out of her truck and started dragging her up the walkway excitedly.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" Bella questioned as they entered the open, airy and mostly furniture-free home.

"Everything is perfect, Bella! Don't be silly. But, there is something you may want to see. Go on up to Edward's room, I think you'll see what I mean." Alice let go of Bella's hand and gave her a devious smirk and in an instant she was gone, leaving Bella alone and very confused at the bottom of the stairs. She paused and glanced sideways before taking a step up the stairs. She could hear music…

The music became louder and more and more blaring as she slowly walked down the hallway. This song was familiar; she had heard it blasting out of cars in the parking lot at school. It was obnoxious and loud, the lyrics were idiotic and 90% of the song was bass. Was this… was this "Lipgloss" by _Lil Mama_? She blinked in surprise as she stopped outside of Edward's bedroom door, which was cracked open less than an inch. Yes, this was definitely where the racket was coming from… but that's not all she heard. She heard singing.

Slightly mortified now, she put her hand out and pushed the door open very slowly: just in time to see her dazzling boyfriend picking up the song's hook.

"_Whatchu know 'bout me?  
Whatchu—whatchu know?  
They say my lipgloss is poppin'!  
My lip gloss is coo'!  
All the boys keep jockin',  
They chase me after school!"_

Bella's jaw dropped. Had they… had they _learned_ the _dance_? She gaped at Edward and Emmett sliding, kickball-changing and shimmying across the floor and at Jasper, who sat rigidly in the windowsill starting wide-eyed and uncomfortably at his brothers. They _had_ learned the dance. They had learned the dance, and they had learned it well. Disturbingly well. Too well. She let her hand drop from the door back to her side, but couldn't manage to close her mouth as the hulking Emmett slipped in front of Edward and took over the second verse.

"_When I's time for lunch  
My lips still rock  
Lil Mama Melon with the hot pink top!  
Cherry, vanilla,  
Flavors is a virtue,  
They, loving, lip gloss universal!  
The boys really like it the girls don't speak  
They rollin' they eyes  
They lip gloss cheap!  
It ain't my fault,  
But I could upgraaaade ya;  
Show you how to use nice things with nice flaaaavors!_"

Just then, Edward picked up his knee in sync with his brother and shifted his weight, spinning to the side—facing a still, confused Bella Swan looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. He immediately dropped his stance and grabbed the stereo remote off of the television stand and fumbled slightly before switching quickly to a more acceptable 'Clair De Lune.'

"Uhh… Hello, Bella… I didn't realize you'd be coming over."

"Alice… Alice—" Bella stammered slightly, still struggling to close her mouth when she felt a hard, cold hand light gently on her shoulder. A smiling Alice stood next to her briefly before passing her into the room, breezing over to Jasper and standing him up.

"I called her. This was too perfect for her not to see!" She beamed impishly and began walking Jasper out of the room, holding his arm affectionately. Jasper stared unblinkingly at Bella as they passed her in the doorway.

"What we have seen… cannot be unseen." He muttered, and with that Alice led him away, leaving Bella alone with a mortified Edward and a smiling Emmett. There was a long awkward silence before Bella managed to close her mouth and let herself blink finally.

"Uhh. Nice moves."

"Thanks, Bells!" Emmett grinned at her just as Rosalie stopped outside the doorway. She took one look inside the room and rolled her eyes.

"This again?" She muttered and stalked off down the hall. Emmett rolled his eyes and threw his arms up, exasperated as he headed out of the room after Rosalie.

"Oh c'mon! Don't knock it 'till you try it, Rose!"

Edward and Bella stood staring at each other in silence until she finally spoke.

"I guess after over 100 years you guys need to pass the time _somehow_."

"Yeah..."

-


End file.
